As transcribed by G_Man-
I
have just returned from my journey to the sacred "Methane Caves". This journey
was very difficult. My lungs were badly burned from the searing Methane Gases I had to
endure as I made my way to get to the Ancient Scrolls. The Methane Gods looked favorably
on me upon my arrival at the sacred chambers, and after I had completed the complex
rituals of many hours of bowing, flatulation, supplication, climaxed by the properly
executed crepitation release, they agreed to let me bring back the sacred parchments for
"The Secret Order of the Buttplug". The great High Methane God
"Flatular" took mercy upon me and granted me a safe teleport out of the caves,
for He, and He alone, knew I would have perished on the return journey back through the
caves. After a few days of stalling . . . er . . . recovery, I will pass on this sacred
information to our humble, great, good, generous, worthy, and gloriously odorous OLD FART
Clan Members.
